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FILE - The chamber of the House of Representatives is seen at the Capitol in Washington, Feb. 28, 2022. (AP Photo/J. Scott Applewhite, File)

The State of the Union (Honest Version)

President* Biden arose from a late nap this evening to slur the SOTU address and as usual, it was peppered with the typical narratives from which Democrats derive their livelihood and income.  These included the myth of the wealthy paying no taxes, how a blank check to Ukraine helps American interests, Republicans wishing to impoverish the elderly, how Biden “created” millions of jobs after Democrats destroyed even more with Covid lockdowns and how five black police officers beating a black man to death is not a grotesque abuse of government authority, but racism.

Senility and lies aside, here are a few observations about our Union that would have contributed to a more truthful version of the speech:

Nearly 5 million illegal immigrants have crossed our border at the invitation of Democrats. US taxpayers are paying for their food, shelter, clothes, medicine and travel. This was not voted upon by US citizens and in fact, the immigration laws put in place by our representatives in Congress are being ignored by Biden’s Executive Branch. This is because Democrats feel that bringing in new constituents dependent on government assistance is vital to their political survival.

Congress has sent over $100B to the money laundering capital of the world with no detailed accounting of expenses.  If you have a problem with this, you are invited to shut up and make the Ukranian flag your temporary profile picture so the rest of us know you’re a good person.

As Congress continues to spend 28% more money than the amount of revenue generated through taxes, the Treasury must print more money, causing more inflation which mostly harms the poor and middle class. Fortunately for our politicians, those dirty people can’t afford to live anywhere near Washington DC.

Now that Covid has successfully changed our voting practices, loosening election security to the point it is virtually impossible for a Republican to win a national race, the “End of the Covid emergency” has been scheduled for May.  Biden voters are welcome to continue wearing masks so the government can easily identify their willful subordinates.

With the lowering of standards in public schools, Covid shutdowns and prioritizing identity politics and revisionist history over math and science, education prospects have never been more bleak for America’s children. However, as long as they remain ashamed of their history and ignorant of their rights and responsibilities as citizens, they are far more likely to support more government control over their lives, which is the of course the not-so-subtle objective of government schools.

At Super Bowl LVII, aerial coverage will be provided by the Goodyear Blimp as well as one to three Chinese spy balloons.

Lastly, Biden’s war on fossil fuels may have doubled the price of gas, but the good news is as the economy slows this year and fewer people are driving to work, the lack of demand for gas should bring those prices right down.

Epilogue: Sarah Sanders’ rebuttal was concise, fact-based and patriotic. Her point of view represents Americans who care about their country, not just their party’s power in it. Her message was one of American tradition and common sense. Freedom vs Government control. Normal vs crazy. Strength vs weakness. Those seem to be America’s choices at the moment.